How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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What's the new green? Green

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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