There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

poo

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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