Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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