"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops