I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

The adventures of Helen Keller:

A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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