What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

Swag.

Obama

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

You tell me. I have amnesia.

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

9/11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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