Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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who farted i did :]

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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