How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Look at your hand. Made you look!

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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My nipple is bleeding

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops