What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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