- Anti Joke

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

A blind man walks into a library.

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

Knock knock. Get out!!

A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.