What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

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How's the weather? Good.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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