so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops