Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops