A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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