Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

Pianos.

Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

SUCK MY NUTS

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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