If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops