What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Pianos.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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