That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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The.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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My life

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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