Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Your mom.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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French people.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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