What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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