Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

What's the difference between a duck?

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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