What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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