Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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