Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops