How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops