Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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