what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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knock knock There's no door

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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