A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Your Mom The End.

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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