When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops