Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Poop.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops