What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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TELL

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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women rights

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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F? No k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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