How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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