What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

This is just like Facebook. If you guys want to like comments, or even comment on them, just get Facebook.

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

What moos like a cow? Another cow

Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

What's better than winning $500? Using it to support the Islams to destroy America

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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