Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What's red and has wheels? A red car

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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my gramma died

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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