A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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