how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man sat down Then he stood up

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's brown? My toilet hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +43

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops