How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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French people.

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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