what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call an amazing person Good

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +3

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

thumb_up thumb_down +3

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops