watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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My mum is called Steve

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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