I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

why did the man stop his bike he was having a heart attack

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

The holocaust

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

Lil Wayne

Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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