What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Raveena Thandhan

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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