A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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4 hours later.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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