guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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Why the did black man climb the ladder? To get on the roof of the building to install a satellite dish.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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Christanity One Womans Excuse of Not Having an Affair Got Totaly Out of Hand

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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where's mom I killed her

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jd and zach loves vigina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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