Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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where's mom I killed her

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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