So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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