What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

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Anthony sucks

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Hello

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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