A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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#Cutforbieber - Cole g.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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