Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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