Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops