You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops