A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Poop

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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